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10-14-09 (Tell Me What You Want)
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Stephanie McIver
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Oct 14, 2009 10:53 PDT
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Steph’s Stuff
10-14-09
(Tell Me What You Want)
Today I am working on several projects that have been on my mind for
some time. I am preparing for a luncheon I’m speaking at on Saturday,
calling to personally invite some new women—and have had a fairly good
response rate, along with the unavoidable messages left on voicemail. I
am coordinating some meals for loved ones—the crock pot is fired up and
bringing the bean soup to its perfect consistency in that beloved crock
pot way—I don’t have to keep checking it as I have been known to burn me
some beans from time to time! The washing machine is chugging away.
The dryer is getting my sheets soft and fragrant. I am content in my
little space, knowing that the things that have been nagging at my brain
are being accomplished—and He says to me, “Good time to talk to Me,
isn’t it? I’ve given you the blessing of all these automatic labor
saving devices—and you have put them to use. Now tell me what’s REALLY
on your mind.”
“Okay, Lord. Thanks for reminding me. Was it You who brought to my
attention that I give so much of my time to those insignificant but
necessary details without giving You a second thought? I thought of
that the other day. I have been so caught up in the chores and school
and a million other distractions when I realized that YOU were being
neglected. I’m sorry. Those distractions are sometimes good
things—blessings from You—and I AM grateful for them. I know You have
gone before me and prepared some of those details to be successful—kind
of like the crock pot. I put in the necessary ingredients, yes. But
then I walked away and let it do its thing. You have worked in that
same way. I have prayed for situations and people and problems. You
have answered those prayers consistently. I am still waiting for
answers on some of them, but You have shown me to trust in Your timing.
You have shown me that no matter how I feel about something, You will
work to bring it to the perfect conclusion—in spite of my ‘best
efforts’. And You continue to love me in ways both big and small.
One of the ways I see You loving me is the reminder that what we have is
a relationship. Relationships take time and effort on both sides or
they die from lack of attention. I talk to my close girlfriends and
tell them details of my life, feelings and dreams—and I don’t hold
anything back with them. We are close and I trust them with the most
intimate details. Do I do that with You? Sometimes, but I also see
that I draw back and don’t admit things that I think will disappoint
You. And that’s so dumb. You know it anyway. You want me to
acknowledge the truths that I don’t like about myself. Is that so You
can show me how to overcome those dark days? Those dark thoughts? Yes,
You know them already—I don’t really need to tell You—but when I tell
YOU, I hear myself and realize that Your wisdom is so much better than
my rebellion. And as I pray to You, I know what You have said. I know
that You are not a magic wand I can wave for every want. And I know
that YOU know the desires of my heart that You have placed there and
those desires need to be in the forefront.
My times with you cannot be some vague chant—“Bless me Jesus. You know
what I need. Please send it.” You DO know—and You want me to spell it
out. I don’t need to be coy or shy. I don’t need to beat around the
bush. I just need to ask You.
“Jesus said, "What can I do for you?" The blind man said, "Rabbi, I
want to see." Mark 10:51 (MSG)
Isn’t that prophetic? That specific request was FROM a blind man. Of
course he wanted to see! Jesus knew that before He asked. He knows
before we ask—we have physical issues. We have spiritual issues. We
want our children to follow Him. We want broken relationships healed.
We want to grow in the knowledge of Him. But what did the blind man say
that we all need to say? “Rabbi, I want to SEE.”
Oh, Lord. I do see. You sought me out because You want me to see—Your
heart, Your will, Your plan for ME. You never give up on me—and that
just blows my mind. I would have given up on me a long time ago!
Thanks for not letting that happen. Thanks for the reassurance that You
would leave Your flock to find that one lost lamb. We are always able
to come to You any time and You will smile and say “What do you want?”
And then we realize the answer is:
You.
Fondly,
Stephanie
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