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10-15-09 (Another Brick in the Wall)
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Stephanie McIver
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Oct 15, 2009 10:34 PDT
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Steph's Stuff
10-15-09
(Another Brick in the Wall)
There are people you 'click' with--and people you don't. I'm not really
sure how this happens but we seem to have some sort of radar about it.
I can tell almost immediately if I am going to feel that click when I
meet someone and experience has shown that I'm usually right about that
initial assessment. I have this idea in my head that I'm an especially
easy, 'one-size-fits-all' clicker, so I'm surprised when I meet people
who don't feel that way about me. Why not? What did I do or say that
made them uneasy about me--or feel that they couldn't open up to
me--that I wasunsafe in some way?
I ask myself the same question-why do I feel that way about certain
people--and the answer is usually the perception that we have different
viewpoints on the world at large. It might be something they said--or
it might simply be the way they look, dress. A regional accent might
remind me on some subconscious level of someone who hurt me in the past.
It's hard to figure it out sometimes. Turning the spotlight on my own
'non-click' moments, I have to wonder if I'm losing out because of that
initial brick I've put in the wall around me. We all have those walls,
you know, even if you don't realize it. I know I am sad when someone
makes that decision about me--and I think, "Why can't you just give me a
chance? I would give YOU one!" Would I? I hope so, and I suspect He
is trying to show me something here.
As I look back on situations where I have put up that brick wall, it has
usually been in response to the pain of rejection. That one? They
don't like me. They don't accept me. They won't respect me. They will
ridicule me and make me feel bad. I don't want to have a relationship
with them--and since I have a choice in the matter (this time), I will
avoid them at all costs. That wall exists with some people in my
life--and sometimes I see that it exists with God. That is so unfair to
Him. He does set up standards for us to follow--and in our own strength
we CAN'T follow them. Trust me, I've tried! But He has never hurt me
when these standards aren't followed. He is gentle and loving. He
tells me in the quietness of our time together--and when I listen and
ask for the strength to heed those instructions, He rejoices and blesses
me exponentially.
He also tells me that this very VIEW of Him is what keeps many people
from seeking Him. They are afraid of that rejection, that judgment,
that shame. I should know better by now, but since I still struggle
with it myself, how can I tell others that it just isn't His nature to
be hurtful to us? It just isn't His nature to smack us down so hard
that we can't get up. It just isn't His nature to even APPROACH us with
the knowledge of how we fall short until He has prepared our hearts to
see and accept the truth of it.
I am preparing to speak to a group of new women in my church. My
purpose in this is to welcome them and let them KNOW that we are joyful
that they made the decision to join our community of faith. Do I have
the right words to do this? Can I make a difference, especially to
those who feel awkward and out of the loop? What can I say that will
let them know that we ARE sisters on many levels, even if I don't look
like them or talk like them or dress like them? My age or appearance or
credentials (or lack of credentials) might be enough for them to pick up
the brick, smear grout on it and get ready to build a wall against me.
I pray that doesn't happen. I pray that I will be given the right words
to speak to those who would run. I pray that He will use me in a mighty
way--and I don't care if I know about it at the time or not. I pray
that He will give me wisdom to keep from spouting some 'off the cuff'
casual remark that would label me as phony or flippant or anything less
than truly passionate about glorifying Him. He can do that, in spite of
ME! Proof that miracles still happen in the 21st century!
As you go about your day today, watch for opportunities to tear down the
wall--both your own wall and the wall others have put up against you.
Ask Him to give you His light, grace and peace. Let His love shine from
your eyes, so strongly that it can even pierce a brick wall.
Or climb over it in His strength.
In faith, I will prepare for this talk. I know He will be with me--I've
already invited Him--even begged Him to go before me and let it be a
fruitful time for those friends I haven't met yet. I will watch for the
moment when they lay down that brick--and suddenly feel lighter.
What bricks can you lay down today?
Fondly,
Stephanie
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