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10-21-09 (It's A Conspiracy)
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Stephanie McIver
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Oct 21, 2009 15:10 PDT
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Steph’s Stuff
10-21-09
(It’s A Conspiracy)
I’m not sure why, but my write brain isn’t working today—or at least,
not at the same time as my technology is. I started to write this
morning and the power went out. I lost what I had written. After a few
minutes of powerlessness—in more ways than one—couldn’t heat up the left
over coffee either—juice came back into the lines and I tried again.
The phone rang continuously. I was given the task of trying to find some
facts for my friend while he was at work—and that was frustrating as
every fact I encountered required a decision on his part—and he was not
answering my phone messages or texts—so I gave up and went out into the
world, running the errands that make up about fifty percent of my
daylight hours. I was at a medical clinic filling out yet another
application when my cell phone rang. I balanced the paperwork on my
knee as I rummaged through my purse for the information I had gleaned
for him. It was not the info he wanted. So sorry—but hello? I’m in
the middle of something else here now, okay? As I suspected all along,
decisions were put on hold until he could get to his home computer and
type in the pertinent information himself.
I finished running my errands in the drizzle of October Oregon, only to
see the sun break through as I pulled in to unload the car—and thinking
I could work quickly, I booted up my programs and tried to write again.
More phone calls. A stack of bills that I forgot about. The beginnings
of a headache and the realization that I hadn’t eaten yet and the clock
was saying it was mid afternoon. Protein, girlfriend! Protein. I left
the computer, found some vaguely hard string cheese and returned, only
to find that somehow, my traitorous writing buddy had decided to restart
in my absence—all by itself. Did it save the few paragraphs I had
written? No. It had not.
It’s a conspiracy.
The universe has decided to turn against me and my very fingers, the
ones that usually work so well are jumping on the wrong keys—they keep
throwing in the extra ‘b’ or ‘g’, making even the simplest sentence take
twice as long. Aaarrrggghhh!! (that was fun. AAARRRGGGHHH!!! Type
each letter three times and you have a groan! Cool) Fun with my
keyboard and the protein is kicking in. the headache seems to be
retreating into the distant memories of drizzle and confusion.
The sun is shining on the trees—and the trees are a rainbow of autumn
hues. The leaves on the Japanese maple outside the window are tipped in
a rusty gold, in sharp contrast to the emerald green grass, lush in the
aftermath of rainy nights—even thunder that tried to steal my sleep last
night—but didn’t, once I realized that a truck hadn’t hit the house when
I was awakened at 2:30 a.m.
I have to smile. The conspiracy has turned into the joy of a perfect
autumn afternoon. I am warm and cozy in the house, but think of
grabbing a sweatshirt and venturing out for a stroll around the
neighborhood. There is fresh asparagus and peppers waiting to be
translated into a healthy stir fry for supper with my favorite guy,
along with the cod he brought back from the coast. That should make him
smile as he solves the problems of this morning and I tell him the
adventures of my day, along with the solutions that accompanied them.
There was a conspiracy afoot—to steal my joy and purpose. It did not
win. I was not fooled nor defeated. My faith in the One who brightens
every storm has been rewarded with the outlook of hope. All these
temporary problems will pass—and if I don’t give into despair, they will
pass that much quicker. Curses, devil. Foiled again.
Look for joy—in the thunder and the reboots, the miscommunications and
the frustrations of everyday life. You get extra credit if you can
laugh at them. Don’t buy into the myth that you can be overcome.
The secret is that He won, a long time ago. He’s waiting for you to
turn from the conspiracy theory and embrace the truth of His love. I am
conspiring too. I will sing of His love forever, no matter what.
So there! Don’t be paranoid, Sometimes, when we are strong in His
strength, conspiracies fail. And in spite of every indication to the
contrary, I DID get something written. It was His plan. I have no idea
how He will use it today—but I trust Him because we’re in it together,
Fondly,
Stephanie
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