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10-29-09 (Cool Love)
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Stephanie McIver
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Oct 29, 2009 10:48 PST
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Steph’s Stuff
10-29-09
(Cool Love)
I always wanted to be ‘cool’. I never thought I was, mind you. Part of
the reason I never thought that was this--I wasn’t really sure what
‘cool’ was—I just knew that some people had it—and I didn’t. No matter
how hard I tried, the dork genes would win out. I’d get a big zit on
the day I finally got invited to ‘the’ party. My pants would rip (at
school) and I’d have to wear my sweater to cover my behind even though
the temperature was in the 90s. One of my siblings would tell a MEAN
NASTY (but usually true) story about some weirdity that was part of my
persona. And the ‘cool’ people would look slightly askance, turn up
their noses and move AWAY from the non-cool loser trying to infiltrate
their midst.
To my great surprise, I learned in later years that I had fooled a few
people—they actually thought I WAS cool! One of my sister’s best
friends growing up. Some people I reconnected with from high school. A
guy I worked with years ago who finally admitted that he always wanted
to ask me out, but was too shy—because I was too cool for him. Huh?
Me? These revelations got me thinking—‘Gee, maybe ‘cool’ is a myth!
Maybe NOBODY really thinks they’re cool—they just put on a good face and
fool people. You don’t really have to be a rock star to be cool; you
just have to play the part.’
Why do we WANT to be cool? Because we perceive cool people as being
more respected, more privileged—and most importantly, more loved. I
want people to think of me like—HER! I wish I looked like her. I wish
I acted like her. I wish I had her life—that must be AWESOME! Why did
I have to be born plain, dorky boring old ME anyway? The more people I
talk to, the more normal I realize these perceptions are—and you would
be surprised at the people who have them. How do I know this? Because
I finally decided that I would CHOOSE the people who populate my
life-and I want them to be people I think are cool. To my great
surprise, when I cultivate those friendships—they actually want to hang
out with ME too! And as we bond, we discover more things in common than
things that separate us—but how could THAT be? THEY’RE COOL! How come
they aren’t any more self confident or intelligent or tuned into the
world around them than I am?
And my idea of ‘cool’ might not match the world’s idea. Since I’m NOT
cool, I don’t know the latest trends. I might think someone is cool
because they have a haircut that went out in 1988—but I like it! I
might think someone is cool because of their goofy laugh or their
servant’s heart or even their taste in old movies. A mutual love for
shoes is always a sign of coolness to me! If they like to pore over
cookbooks and plan the ultimate party—even for their weird friends and
relatives—we’ll have a grand old time together. I just realized
something. I think it is far cooler to be able to let your guard down
than it is to have to be ‘cool’ all the time! That’s just too much
work, isn’t it?
Maybe I’m just getting old—but being ‘cool’ just isn’t all that
important to me anymore.
What a relief!
“Sing to God, everyone and everything! Get out his salvation news every
day! Publish his glory among the godless nations, his wonders to all
races and religions. And why? Because God is great—well worth praising!
No god or goddess comes close in honor. All the popular gods are stuff
and nonsense, but God made the cosmos! Splendor and majesty flow out of
him, strength and joy fill his place. Chronicles 16:23 (MSG)
Will you settle for stuff and nonsense, in a quest to be ‘cool’?
There are really cool things out there to discover and enjoy. Look at
the natural world. Look at the rainbows and oceans and choirs and
babies. Look at the smiles of those you love. Even if they’re crooked
or missing teeth or covered in braces. Smiles aren’t just the
face—they’re the eyes and the heart and the soul. Think of the MIRACLE
of eyes and hearts and souls. Who made them?
Who’s cool?
And the coolest thing of all? HE LOVES US!
If you’re feeling uncool today, remember that!
Fondly,
Stephanie
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