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TDJ-- Pizzas, Avocados & Spamwork , 02-29-08
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Tips du Jour
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Feb 29, 2008 07:37 PST
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(((((((((( Tips du Jour ))))))))))
Friday, February 29, 2008
US Library of Congress ISSN: 1530-7654
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TDJ WHAT WHEN?
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FRIDAY: COOKING/KITCHEN Tip(s)
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TODAY'S TIP(s): COOKING/KITCHEN Department
Pizzas, Avocados & Spamwork
Tim says: Self-Rising Pizza... I am not a thin-crust pizza lover. I like
mine thick, doughy and chewy.. The "self-rising" frozen, store-bought
varieties are fine with me, especially when I add my own knickknacks
(peppers, onions, tomato slices, unknown refrigerator cheese, unknown
refrigerator meats, shallots, sardines, and Cayenne pepper) before
plopping them in the oven. Okay, I lied -- I haven't yet added sardines,
but I'm tempted.
One trick I've learned in creating an even thicker crust is putting the
doctored, frozen, self-rising pizza on the top shelf in a 400-degree
oven WHILE the oven is pre-heating. This gives the groggy, sleep-ridden
yeast cells a bit more time to WAKE UP and GET WITH IT before they are
mercilessly burned to a crisp in 400-degree pizza goop. (I have learned
to reduce the oven temperature to 365-375 if you are using a convection
oven. Also, shorten cooking times by approximately 10%. Test often.)
Thank goodness screaming yeast cells are difficult for the human ear to
hear, else bakers and pastry chefs everywhere would be wearing earplugs.
Dogs, however, seem to get a kick out peeking through the oven window
and listening to the yeast cells' final terror-babble.
+ + + + +
* to get an avocado to ripen, bury it in a bowl of flour
* clams and oysters will be simple to open if washed with cold water,
then placed in a plastic bag and put in the freezer for an hour.
* to get the catsup out of the bottle, insert a drinking straw, push it
to the bottom of the bottle, and then remove. Enough air will be
admitted to start an even flow.
* Unmolding gelatin: Rinse the mold pan in cold water, and then coast
with salad oil. Your mold will drop out easily and will have an
appealing luster.
* Eggs beat up fluffier when not too cold. They should be at cool room
temperature for best results.
* A small funnel is handy for separating eggs whites from the yolks.
Open the egg over the funnel, and the white will run through while the
yolk will remain.
* Egg whites can be kept frozen up to 1 year. Add them to a plastic
container as you collect them for use in meringues, angelfood cake, etc.
2 cup equals 7 or 8 eggs whites. You can also refreeze defrosted egg
whites.
* For fluffier omelets, add a pinch of cornstarch before beating.
--submitted by Mama Maus
{{{ TODAY'S GRIPE }}}
A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE gripe of mine is the uninvited, unwelcome faxes I
receive from random advertisers who use call lists of telephone numbers!
Who would have ever thought that I would have to pay for someone else's
advertising via paper and toner! And just try calling those numbers
they include to get yourself off their list... nearly every time I get a
recording saying "That number is not in service."
What is this world coming to?
--submitted by Virginia
Tim says: I think FAX JUNK is illegal. But -- what the heck?
For the past couple years I've had a cell phone given to me by my
ex-boss and friend, Al Hartley. The phone was essential when I worked
with Al selling electric luxury boats. But nowadays I have no use for a
cell phone and rarely carry it with me. I've convinced Al to take it
back and cancel the contract, which is due for renewing next month. The
other day, for the first time ever, I received a text message while
sitting on my dock awaiting a call from a plumber. It was SPAM TEXT! How
obnoxious can you get?
{{{ GRIPE FEEDBACK }}}
RE: opening plastic packaging
I solved the problem the easy way. Before I leave the store I ask that
someone (a store employee) open the package for me. They whip out a
knife, cut it open and away I go. I used to use wire cutters.
--submitted by Sue
Tim says: Now THERE'S an idea I like!
- - - - -
I've been watching all the gripes and solutions to opening that !*#@!
plastic packaging that seems to be on everything you buy these days and
I have to add my 2 cents worth. After struggling with scissors and all
the other stuff around the house I've found that the best and easiest
thing to use is a simple box cutter! So easy and no need to buy new
"stuff!"
--submitted by K. McKie
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TODAY'S CLASSIC JOKE:
(and one of my favorite, all-time jokes--Tim)
A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for
seven years, after which, then priests were allowed to speak 2 words
only. Seven years passed. The priest went into a small room where he
was given the chance to say his two words to the leadership of the
order. His two words were: "Too cold."
He was given extra blankets.
The next seven years passed and the leadership took him back into the
small room and his next 2 words were: "Bad food."
The kitchen changed the menu for him.
When the third seven years had passed he was taken back into the small
room, and his 2 words were: "I quit!"
"Thank the Lord!" exclaimed the elder. "All you've done since you got
here is complain!"
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TODAY'S QUOTE
"A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus."
--Herbert Hoover
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
right now.
DICTIONARY DALLY
One man's sainfoin is another man's fodder.
Have a great weekend!
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