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Vitamins for the Soul -- February 26, 2005
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Yali Shi
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Feb 25, 2005 20:48 PST
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Vitamins for the Soul -- February 26, 2005
Four Magic Words
A nurse ushered me into my grandma's room. Lying in the hospital bed,
she looked so small. Her eyes were closed. I sat down quietly.
I was on my way to seminary and full of self-doubt. I had just given up
a full scholarship to medical school, and everyone thought I was making
a mistake. I desperately wanted Grandma's advice, but the nurse had
warned me that she didn't have much strength left. After half an hour,
Grandma hadn't stirred, so I just started talking. Suddenly she woke up,
asking, "Danny, is that you?"
She told me how her faith had guided her all her life. After a few
minutes, a great peace settled around us. I kissed Grandma and turned to
leave, but then I heard her whisper some parting words. I leaned over to
listen. "I believe in you," she said.
Grandma died that night, but in more than 20 years of work as a
Christian psychologist, I have passed on her words many times. Four
simple words can make a lifetime of difference.
—Dan Montgomery
I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among the men [in my company]
the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best in a man
is by appreciation and encouragement.
There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a man as criticisms
from his superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a man
incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise, but loathe to find fault.
If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my
praise.
—Charles Schwab
The applause of a single human being is of great consequence.—Samuel
Johnson
The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be
appreciated.—William James
The Art of Praise
There is a very basic courtesy that should apply in all human
relations—taking the time to thank people who help us. My friend Mike
Somdal is a specialist at this. One reason he is so successful in
business is that he has mastered the fine art of making people feel good
by thanking them regularly. Often he will call customers simply to thank
them again for the order they placed last week or for the recommendation
they made to another customer, or for the lunch. Anything. And before
the conversation is over, Mike has often secured another order. Of
course, if he called simply with ulterior motives, his clients would
recognize the manipulation and resist. But Mike has made gratitude a
lifelong habit, and those of us who do business with him appreciate that
quality. And we respond.
The art of praise—what is known as positive reinforcement in the current
psychological jargon—is an essential art for an executive or teacher [or
anyone dealing with people] to master. If there is a complaint employees
most often express, it is this: "I never get any feedback from the
boss—except when something goes wrong." And the teenagers who sit in my
office tell me again and again, "My dad gets all over my case when I
mess up at school, but when I bring home a good grade he acts as if it's
nothing—that I'm finally doing what I should have been doing all along."
Stop and think. How long has it been since you took a full 60 seconds to
talk to your son or daughter about some fine thing they've just done? Or
your secretary, or the managers who work under you?
When someone comes along who genuinely thanks us, we will follow that
person a very long way.—Alan Loy McGinnis
* * *
Have a good week,
Shi Yali
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